Here’s a Father’s Day assignment for you: Ask every question you can think of. 

It’ll be a gift for you and your dad. And you might just learn something about the man you think you know so well. That was certainly the case for me when my father’s answer to a seemingly unimportant question brought a discovery that gave me a different understanding of his life. And mine. 

You can do this in person or via the magic of technology, but before you connect, prepare. Every interview I ever did as a TV journalist started with curiosity and preparation. This deserves no less.

Think about your dad’s life. Pretend you don’t know him and you’re going to write a book about him. (Maybe, like me, you will after this.) Think of him not just as your father but also as a husband, a friend, a whatever-else-he-is now and was before you came along.

Then, start jotting questions - as many as you can think of. Consider the facets of his life and ask about each one. No question is too mundane because you don’t know where it will lead.

When it comes time to chat, warm up with basics first - questions like:

What did he like to do as a boy?
What was his family life like?
What did he want to be when he was growing up?
How did he choose his line of work?
Who was his best/worst boss?
What was his most embarrassing moment?

Then dig a little deeper:

What are his best memories of his childhood? His toughest?
What was the hardest time he ever went through?
What was his proudest moment?
If he could change one thing in his life, what would he have done differently?

I also asked for advice for the future, knowing my dad wouldn’t always be here to offer it. Add those questions, too. Add everything you can think of. 

When it’s time to talk, ask your dad if he’s okay with you recording the conversation, which can be a true gift for later, or with you taking notes. Just be sure you have some way of capturing his answers.

From my perspective as a life long interviewer, there are a couple of keys to making this work well. Be sure you listen. Really listen. Don’t worry about the next question. Don’t think about the grocery list. Give him the courtesy of your full attention. Even if an answer is long and doesn’t seem interesting, you never know where it will take you. I asked my dad a question about his pro hockey career that hadn’t even made it to my list. It was a follow-up asked for his benefit rather than mine. But his answer was a game-changer. Pay attention. Go off-script. Delve. Be determined to learn something. And know this will likely require a few sessions and your father will probably become more comfortable over time.  

Our time and our stories are two of the greatest gifts we can share. So, ask the questions. This is a great time to start. 

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads who love big and love well. We are better for you.